Serenity Quest

Uhum, let's put it this way...it's all good and well that the United States of America declared independence from the British on July 4th 1776, however I would remind you that my people African-Americans were slaves at this point in time so I always have mixed feelings on this grand day.

But let's not be a spoil-sport, Happy Birthday America!

My mother has a real guilt complex. Today she tells me that her father is asking for her, she hasn't called in weeks because my aunt is behaving like a cunt. Why? A simple misunderstanding that my aunt embellished and got the whole familia involved in and now my mom feels guilty!? Wait stop! JODONA!! Why should she? She hasn't done anything wrong. I asked her to call my grandparents for me, as a personal favor to her eldest child.

I reminded her of the visit of my cousin. We were hanging out one night and he was playing the piano and singing, very talented guy. He told us that it had been months since he had spoken with his father and the other day heard a song "I wasn't there that morning when my father passed away. I didn't get to tell him all things I had to say....Say it loud, say it clear you can listen as well as you hear, it's too late when we die, to admit we don't see eye to eye" ("In the living years" - Mike and the Mechanics). Life would have it the other way around because he died a few weeks later in a car accident and his father was weeping saying how stupid he felt for not talking with his son. And he too died before his parents, of throat cancer and his parents my grandparents, my mother's parents are still around and she should take advantage of the time they have left on this earth rather than petty arguments between siblings.

I have been so engrossed by the World Cup lately which admittedly it is a good source of distraction for me...

It's Sunday, 06:26 in the morning and the phone rang an hour ago waking me up but I didn't reach it in time. That always scares me, I worry that something may have happened and someone is trying to reach me. This fear comes from several directions, aging grandparents, family far away and the loss of a dear friend.

Almost 11 years back I was on vacaction and upon returning listened to my phone messages and heard the frantic voice of another friend telling me to call him right away. I did. M. hanged himself. He was at the prime of his life, 23 and such a beautiful being inside and out. None of that mattered to him, he was obviously suffering and fighting demons.

Ever since then when the phone rings I jump and run to answer it.

France beat Brazil again, unbelieveable.